Fall Update

Before the tomato-throwing commences, yes, I am aware that I haven’t posted much of substance lately. Here I will try to encapsulate much of what has been happening in my life, and I promise to make more of an attempt at regular updates in the future.

Probably the biggest change this fall has been going back to school. Most people think I am crazy for taking classes in pursuit of another graduate degree (being that I already have one), but truthfully I am most happy when I am learning, studying and intellectually stimulated. Normal everyday life just doesn’t require me to perform the brain acrobatics that school does and I bore easily. Right now I am considered a non-degree seeking student, and I have to make a decision as to whether I should apply to a Master’s or PhD program. My professors are encouraging me to apply for the PhD which is incredibly flattering and such an ego boost. When I talk to my professors about the PhD and my future it makes me feel so hopeful and happy. I wish there was a way to bottle up that emotion and save it, so I could always carry a bit of hope with me.

On the work front, I have officially been working in the education field for six months now. It has taken me about that long to mentally transition out of suicide prevention and mental health. Anyone who has worked with social issues understands how they can become ingrained in your life and I believe this to be especially true of suicide prevention. I really defined myself as a preventionist, and when I rather forcibly left the field it caused me to re-examine my inner purpose and goals. I think I am finally starting to understand that my job does not make me who I am. I know I can excel at many things in many different jobs, although it is of course preferable that I enjoy those jobs.

Regular readers will have noticed that my running ambitions tapered off a couple months ago. I have not given up. Let me repeat that. I have NOT given up. I have been walking several times a week, and when I feel secure that I won’t be in pain I’ll start running again. Thanks to keeping a close watch on my nutritional choices I have now successfully lost 86.5 lbs. I will most likely write a separate blog addressing that issue in the future, but right now I’m still processing this change in my body.

In three weeks, I will fulfill #18 on my Thirty Before 30 List and go on my very first cruise! I booked the trip so long ago I can hardly believe it’s finally here. The next three weeks are going to be crazy with all the deadlines I have to meet and tasks to be done, but I want to get everything out of the way before I go. Sipping mojitos on a boat in the middle of the Caribbean sounds absolutely blissful.

– An American Twenty-Something

Photo courtesy of Carnival.com.

World Suicide Prevention Day

Today, Friday, September 10^th, 2010 is World Suicide Prevention Day.

Suicide is the 11^th leading cause of death in the United States with one suicide occurring every 15.2 minutes. It is the third leading cause of death among 15-to-24 year olds.

Approximately 864,950 Americans attempt suicide each year, and it is estimated that five million living Americans have attempted to kill themselves.

Suicide is also a highly preventable public health issue. YOU can help prevent suicide by learning the protective factors, risk factors and warning signs.  A person at acute risk for suicidal behavior most often will show the following signs:

• Threatening to hurt or kill oneself, or talking of wanting to hurt or kill oneself
• Looking for ways to kill oneself by seeking access to firearms, available pills, or other lethal means
• Talking or writing about death, dying or suicide, when these actions are out of the ordinary

Additional warning signs include:

• Increased substance use (alcohol or drugs)
• No reason for living; no sense of purpose
• Anxiety, agitation, being unable to sleep or sleeping all the time
• Feeling trapped, like there’s no way out
• Hopelessness
• Withdrawing from family and friends
• Rage, uncontrolled anger, seeking revenge
• Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities, seemingly without thinking
• Dramatic mood changes

If you or someone you know are thinking about suicide, please call 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24 hours a day.

Talking about suicide will not cause someone to consider or attempt suicide. Talking about suicide is often a relief to those at risk because they have already been thinking about it, but didn’t feel like could talk about it.

Start the conversation. There is help and hope.

– An American Twenty-Something

My main focus lately has been doing anything and everything to propel my life forward out of this suffocating standstill. Yet even though I feel like I’m maddeningly slamming my foot down on the accelerator, I’m not accomplishing anything except spinning my wheels.

Yesterday, I emailed the suicide researcher whom I hope to one day study under to inquire if he would be accepting new PhD students in the fall semester of 2011. He affirmed this, which is good. He then went on to say that strong applications will include extensive research experience and high GRE scores; two areas where I feel I have room to improve and grow.

This past week at work I began collaborating with a new school-based suicide prevention program, which will be evaluated over the next two years by a university researcher, although I’m not sure who it is at this point in time. Since I will already be lending technical assistance and programmatic support to the school, I hope to get in direct contact with the researcher on Monday and offer my personal time in helping with program evaluation so I can expand my research background.

Today, I met up with a friend at the Tallahassee Borders (that’s right, there is only one) and we started studying for the GRE. We’ve both taken the test before but would like to raise our scores for our PhD applications, as doctoral programs are more competitive than Masters’ programs.

Beginning to study is overwhelming, as there are literally thousands of words to learn and multiple mathematical skills to remember and re-master. I have 8.5 weeks until my scheduled test date. The countdown begins.

– An American Twenty-Something